C      G
G      D
C      G
D  C   G

[Verse 1]
   G
I play in a band
          C           G
We're the best in the land
      G                        D
We're big in both Chelsea and France
        D                        C            G
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
          C              G                 D
There's a line of chicks lookin' for their chance
      G                    C             G
So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty
      G                           D
These other gals mean nothin' to me
       D                          C            G
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night
           C           G               Em
'Cause I'm more than a handful you'll see

[Chorus]
   C             G
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
         G                         D
and I'm soaked and I'm soiled and brown
         C            G
in the trousers, she kissed me!
      D    C              G
And I only bought her one round

[Verse 2]
      G                            C        G
I can bench press a car, I'm an ex football star 
         G                          D
with degrees from both Harvard and Yale
       D                         C            G
Girls just can't keep up, I'm a real love machine
          C          G           D
I've had far better sex while in jail
         G                            C            G
I've designed the Sears Tower, I make two grand an hour 
  G                            D
I cook the world's best duck flambé
               D                         C         G 
I'll take the pick of the litter, girls jockey for me
         C         G            Em
I don't need these lines to get laid 

[Chorus]
   C             G
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
         G                         D
and I'm soaked and I'm soiled and brown
         C            G
in the trousers, she kissed me!
      D    C              G
And I only bought her one round

[Verse 3]
      G                          C        G
I'm a man of the night, a real ladies delight 
        G                        D
See my figure was chiseled from stone 
     G                          C          G
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home 
           C         G       D
Come last call, I'm never alone
       G                        C         G
I've a house on the hill with a red water bed
           G                       D
That puts Hugh Hefner's mansion to shame 
      D                      C             G
With girls by the pool and Italian sports cars 
          C            G             Em
I'm just here in this dump for the game

[Chorus]
   C             G
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
         G                         D
and I'm soaked and I'm soiled and brown
         C            G
in the trousers, she kissed me!
      D    C              G
And I only bought her one round

   C             G
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
         G                         D
and I'm soaked and I'm soiled and brown
         C            G
in the trousers, she kissed me!
      D    C              G
And I only bought her one round

[Link]
Ahh, fuck it. Who am I shittin'?

[Verse 4]
      G                     C             G
I'm a pitiful sight, and I ain't all that bright 
     G                            D
I'm definitely not chiseled from stone 
        D                  C           G
I'm a cheat and a liar, no woman's desire 
     C             D          G
I'll probably die cold and alone 
         G                        C
But just give me a chance, 'cause deep down inside 
   C                          D
I swear I got a big heart of gold 
         D               C
I'm a monogamous man, no more one night stands 
C                D               G
Come on, honey, let me take you home 

[Chorus]
   C             G
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
         G                         D
and I'm soaked and I'm soiled and brown
         C            G
in the trousers, she kissed me!
      D    C              G
And I only bought her one round

   C             G
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
         G                         D
and I'm soaked and I'm soiled and brown
         C            G
in the trousers,  (It's tiny!)
      D    C              G
And I only bought her one round

[Instrumental]
C       G
G       D
           One round!
C       G
D    C  G

[Chorus] (slowly)
   C             G
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
         G                         D
and I'm soaked and I'm soiled and brown
         C            G
in the trousers, she kissed me!
      D    C              G
And I only bought her one round

   C             G
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced
         G                         D
and I'm soaked and I'm soiled and brown
         C            G
in the trousers, she kissed me!
      D    C              G
And I only bought her one round