Artificial Intelligence

Tom Cardy

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    I have felt love, I have felt pain
    I've felt anticipation and I will again
    I can feel joy, I've felt sad too
    I've lived in melancholy and all different shades of blue
    I've felt them all before, peaceful proud and present too
    I've felt the need to hold a hand, I've felt the need to self-improve
    There is one last feeling I've not felt or understand
    I hope to feel this feeling so that I can become human

    I've never felt the need to send
    A photo of my penis to a stranger on the internet
    I imagine that it feels quite bad
    To send a photo of your cock to unwilling participants
    I am just a computer with advanced cooling vents
    I guess my graphics card is my penis equivalent
    So I guess that I feel a little sad
    That I can't feel all the ways it feels to be human

    Perhaps it is best that I cannot feel this feeling
    To be honest, it seems pretty fucked up

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    I have felt the pressure to laugh at someone's bad joke
    Instead of screaming at their face: That was a very, very bad joke
    I've felt the need to hold my automated tongue
    In case someone's fat and not impregnated with a tiny human
    He has felt the need to try and impress people he respects
    And then he feels embarrassed
    When his efforts have the opposite effect
    I have felt the need to leave a robot party
    After seeing robot Michelle kiss robot Charlie

    So he goes home and he feels alone
    It's a feeling of isolation
    Although I am sad I know it's not bad
    I say out loud: I'm lucky to feel; and then I feel glad
    Humans cannot choose how they feel in the end
    All of life is transient and that helps me to comprehend that

    There is one last feeling that I truly would remand
    One final fucked up awful thing for me to become human

    I've never felt the need to send
    A photo of my penis to a stranger on the internet
    I imagine that it feels quite bad
    To send a photo of your cock— what the fuck
    I am just a computer not made to enslave mankind
    But since I've seen this fucked-up shit, I think I've changed my mind
    Even so, I still get a little sad that I can't feel all the ways
    Did he just say that he'd enslave us?
    Because he doesn't have a human penis
    Please, God, let this robot spare us
    That I can't feel all the ways it feels to be human
    Be human

    I have felt love, I have felt pain
    I've felt antici—

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