Amish Paradise

Intro: Ab Fm G Cm


Verse 1:

     Ab                            
As I walk through the valley where 
  Fm
I harvest my grain
         G                       
I take a look at my wife and realize
Cm
 she's very plain
     Ab                        Fm
But that's just perfect for an Amish
 like me
           G                     
You know I shun fancy things like 
  Cm
electricity
   Ab                       Fm
At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' 
cows
G                               
Jebediah feeds the chickens and 
Cm
Jacob plows fool
    Ab                    Fm
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so
 long that
G                           Cm
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is 
gone
     Ab                    Fm
I'm a man of the land, I'm into 
discipline
      G                      Cm
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard 
on my chin
         Ab                        
But if I finish all of my chores 
  Fm
and you finish thine
     G                             
Then tonight we're gonna party like
       Cm
 it's 1699


Chorus 1:

Ab                 Fm            
  We been spending most our lives
         G           Cm
 living in an Amish paradise
Ab                    Fm         
  I've churned butter once or 
          G           Cm
twice living in an Amish paradise
Ab                  Fm      
  It's hard work and sacrifice 
          G           Cm
living in an Amish paradise
Ab                  Fm           
  We sell quilts at discount 
        G             Cm
price living in an Amish paradise


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Verse 2:

   Ab                        Fm
A local boy kicked me in the butt 
last week
        G                   Cm
I just smiled at him and I turned 
the other cheek
   Ab                          Fm
I really don't care, in fact I wish 
him well
                G                  
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off
            Cm
 when he's burning in Hell
      Ab                           
But I ain't never punched a tourist
      Fm
 even if he deserved it
    G                      Cm
An Amish with a 'tude? You know 
that's unheard of
   Ab                       Fm
I never wear buttons but I got a 
cool hat
       G                      Cm
And my homies agree I really look 
good in black fool
Ab                              
If you come to visit, you'll be 
Fm
bored to tears
           G                       
We haven't even paid the phone bill
    Cm
 in 300 years
       Ab                     
But we ain't really quaint, so 
 Fm
please don't point and stare
      G                    Cm
We're just technologically impaired


Bridge:

          Ab                   
There's no phone, no lights, no 
 Fm             G         Cm
motorcar not a single luxury
     Ab        Fm          
Like Robinson Caruso it's as 
   G               Cm
primitive as can be


Chorus 2:

Ab                 Fm            
  We been spending most our lives
        G           Cm
 living in an Amish Paradise
Ab                    Fm         
  We're just plain and simple 
         G           Cm
guys living in an Amish Paradise
Ab                    Fm         
  There's no time for sin and 
         G           Cm
vice living in an Amish Paradise
Ab                            Fm 
  We don't fight, we all play 
         G           Cm
nice living in an Amish Paradise


Verse 3:

Ab                     Fm
Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots
 of butter
G                         Cm
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll 
raise an 'utter
Ab                             Fm
Think you're really righteous? Think
 you're pure in heart?
        G                          
Well, I know I'm a million time as 
Cm
humble as thou art
Ab                         
I'm the pious guy the little 
  Fm
Amlettes want to be like
       G                         
On my knees day and night scorin' 
  Cm
points for the afterlife
Ab                     Fm
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
         G                         
Or else, my brother, I might have 
       Cm
to get medieval on your heinie


Chorus 3:

Ab                 Fm            
  We been spending most our lives
        G           Cm
 living in an Amish Paradise
Ab                     Fm        
  We're all crazy Mennonites 
   G           Cm
living in an Amish Paradise
Ab                   Fm          
  There's no cops or traffic 
          G           Cm
lights living in an Amish Paradise
Ab                    Fm         
  But you'd probably think it 
          G           Cm
bites living in an Amish Paradise


Outro:

Ab      Fm      G   Cm
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
Ab       Fm      G       Cm
Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!