Plastic Jesus

      D
Well, I don't care if it rains or 
freezes,
G
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
D                             A 
Riding on the dashboard of my 
Asus4 A
car
D
Through all trials and tribulations,
G
We will travel every nation,
D               A             D  
With my plastic Jesus I'll go 
Dsus4 D
far.


[Verse]
D
Riding through the thoroughfare
G
With his nose right up there in the 
air
D                                  
A wreck may be ahead, but he don't 
A Asus4 A
mind
D
Trouble coming, but he don't see
G
He just keeps his plastic eyes on me
D                 A         
And any other thing that rides 
    D Dsus4 D
behind


[Verse]
D
God made Christ a Holy Jew
G
made Him a Christian too
D                     A Asus4 A
Paradoxes populate my car
D
Joseph beams  nfeignied elan
G
From the shaggy dash of my furlined 
van
D              A             D 
Famous cuckold in the master 
Dsus4 D
plan


[Verse]
D
Right theres Naughty Mary, snug and 
smiling
G
Jesus dainty and beguiling
D                         A Asus4 A
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
D
His message clear by night or day
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G
My phosphorescent plastic Gay
D              A             D 
Simpering on the dashboard of 
Dsus4 D
my van


[Chorus]
        D              G
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus,
D                             A 
riding on the dashboard of my 
Asus4 A
car
D
Through all trials and tribulations,
G
we will travel every nation,
D               A             D 
with my plastic Jesus I'll go 
Dsus4 D
far.


[Verse]
D
When I find myself in a traffic jam
G
He don't care if I say Damn
D                         A Asus4 A
I just let all the curses roll
D
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
G
cuz he's sportin a plastic ear
D                    A           
The man who invented plastic 
    D Dsus4 D
saved my soul


[Verse]
D
You can buy a sweet Madonna,
G
dressed in rhinestone sitting on a
D                 A Asus4 A
pedestal of abalone shell
D
Goin' ninety, I'm not scary,
G
'Cause I've got my Virgin Mary
D            A             D Dsus4 D
guaranteeing I won't go to Hell


[Verse]
D
I don't care if it bumps or jostles
G
I got the Twelve Apostles
D                          A Asus4 A
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
D
Don't I sew a pious mess
G
Such a crowd of holiness
D            A             D 
Strung across the dashboard of my 
Dsus4 D
car


[Verse]
D
I don't care if it's dark or scary,
G
I got magnetic Mary,
D                         A Asus4 A
ridin' on the dashboard of my car
D
I feel I'm protected amply,
G
I've got the whole Holy Family,
D             A               D 
riding on the dashboard of my 
Dsus4 D
car


[Chorus]
        D              G
Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
D                          A Asus4 A
Riding on the dashboard of my car
D
Once his robe was snowy white
G
Now it isn't quite so bright
D               A             D 
Stained by the smoke of my cigar
Dsus4 D


        D              G
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus,
D                          A Asus4 A
riding on the dashboard of my car
D
Through all trials and tribulations,
G
we will travel every nation,
D               A             D 
with my plastic Jesus I'll go 
Dsus4 D
far.