Tired of living in Buttholeville
Tired of my job and my wife Lucille
Tired of my kids Ronnie and Neil
Tired of my 68 Bonneville
Working down at Billy Bob's Bar and Grille
The food here tastes like the way I feel
There's a girl on the dance floor dressed to kill
She's the best looking woman in Buttholeville

One day I'm gonna get out of Buttholeville
Gonna reach right in Gonna grab the till
Buy a brand new hat and a Coupe deVille
lay a patch on the road that runs over the hill
There's a beach somewhere where the water's are still
Gonna lay in the sun till my skin peals
Drinking the best scotch whiskey, eating lobster and eel
and I'm never going back to Buttholeville

Never going, never going, never going never going back!