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[Verse 1]
         E
Well the farmer prayed for a better year
         A
And the crops were good like the Lord did hear
        B7
But his barn burnt down with winter near
     E              A
The answer came in white and black
B7                  E
In the farmer's almanac, it says
                              A        B7                       E
If a man could have half his wishes,    he could double his trouble

E
A sweet old lady was eighty four
           A
When her kinfolks came for a month or more
         B7
Now from overworked she's on the other shore
E                    A
Much too late with ya'll come back
B7                              E
And it says in the farmer's almanac, it says
              A         B7        E
Visitors and fish smell after 3 days

[Verse 2]
E
Our leader was a silver-tongued man
A
He deceived the people of the land
B7
And when he got caught he couldn't stand
E                          A
It's a little off-beat and a little off-track
B7                                 E
But it says in the farmer's almanac, it says
                         A        B7                       E
In rivers and bad government, the lightest things float to the top

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[Verse 3]
E
Rod said I don't believe in God
A
Rod died and lies beneath the sod
B7
Well God did not believe in Rod
E                       A
Life is a troubled and a wearied track
B7                                  E
But it says in the farmer's almanac, it says
          A        B7                       E
Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death

[Verse 4]
E
The little boy followed the honey bee
A
And it flew straight to the honey tree
B7
He got stung but got the honey free
E                            A
Consolation for the things you lack
B7                          E
Is in the farmer's almanac, it says
       A        B7                       E
God gives us the darkness so we can see the stars

[Verse 5]
E
He came home 3 hours late from work
A
Said "I had a flat and fell in the dirt"
B7
She said "and got lipstick on your shirt"
E                  A
Well it turned out like Jill and Jack
B7                                   E
And it says in the farmer's almanac, it says
              A        B7                       E
Lies have to be covered up, truth can run around naked

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[Verse 6]
E
He said honey you know I'm true
A
I just look at other women that's all I do
B7
Then she caught him with her best friend Peggy Sue
E                        A
Sometimes some women will look back
B7                                   E
And it says in the farmer's almanac, it says
                  A        B7                       E
There is a lot of difference in window-shoppin' and shop-liftin'

[Verse 7]
E
I sat down at a shoe-shine stand
A
I had a real slow shoe-shine man
B7
I said you don't pop that rag like some of 'em can
E                           A
He looked at me and then he said right back
B7                                   E
"It says in the farmer's almanac, it says
                               A                 B7                       E
The trouble with the world today is there's too much poppin' and not enough shinin'"