Im Awesome

C                                 
   I don't necessarily have to be 
         F    G
here for this
C                              
   I'm gonna keep the headphones 
        F    G
though


[Chorus]
                    C
Motherfucker I'm awesome! No you're 
not dude, don't lie
       F
I'm awesome! I'm drivin' around in 
my mom's ride
       G
I'm awesome! A quarter of my life 
gone by and I met all my friends 
online
                    C
Motherfucker I'm awesome! I will run
 away from a brawl
       F
I'm awesome! There's no voice mail, 
nobody called
       G
I'm awesome! I can't afford to buy 
eight balls and I talk to myself on 
my Facebook wall


[verse]
            C
You know my pants sag low (low)
                     F
Even though (though) that went out 
of style like ten years ago (go)
G
Spose, I got the swagger of a 
cripple
  F   G
I got little biceps getting fatter 
in the middle
C
   And lyrically I'm not the best
     F
Physically the opposite of Randy 
Moss and yet
      G
So preposterous feel the awesomeness
 the most obnoxious guest up at the 
sausage fest
    C
Oh yes!
                            F
The girls are repulsed so I hide in 
my hood like I'm joining a cult
   G
Uh uhh. I'm as nervous as my cattle 
dirty Curtis
       G
All my writtens are bitten and all 
my verses are purchased
         C
Me? I'll never date an actress. Got 
to many back zits
F
Plus my whole home aroma is cat piss
G
   Every show I do is poorly 
promoted and if you like this it's 
cuz my little sister wrote it


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[Chorus]
       C
I'm awesome! No you're not dude, 
don't lie
       F
I'm awesome! I'm drivin' around in 
my mom's ride
       G
I'm awesome! A quarter of my life 
gone by and I met all my friends 
online
                    C
Motherfucker I'm awesome! I will run
 away from a brawl
       F
I'm awesome! There's no voice mail, 
nobody called
       G
I'm awesome! I can't afford to buy 
eight balls and I talk to myself on 
my Facebook wall
       C     F   G
I'm awesome!       Check it out


[Verse]
         C
I'm from Maine and I don't hunt nope
 and I can't ski
F
   Smoke weed but I can't roll 
blunts
G                                 
Might be with my wifey. My necks 
   F G
not icy. Eatin' at McDonalds because
 Subway is pricey
C
   Uh and my unibrow is plucked
F
Just ask my mom if I could borrow 
ten bucks
            G
She's like "for what? Blunt wraps 
and some Heinekens? You skinny 
prick, go get a gym membership and 
vitamins"
    C
I'm like mom, please don't blame it 
on me
  F
I got my bad habits from you, dad 
and Aunt Steve
G
My attitudes sour but my futon's 
sweet and the hair on my ass it is 
Jumanji
C
Suit untailored, ringtone Taylor 
Swift
      F
Can't tweet up on my Twitter cuz I 
haven't done shit
G
Bank account red, body ungroomed. 
The good thing about me is I'm off 
stage soon


[Chorus]
       C
I'm awesome! No you're not dude, 
don't lie
       F
I'm awesome! I'm drivin' around in 
my mom's ride
       G
I'm awesome! A quarter of my life 
gone by and I met all my friends 
online
                    C
Motherfucker I'm awesome! I will run
 away from a brawl
       F
I'm awesome! There's no voice mail, 
nobody called
       G
I'm awesome! I can't afford to buy 
eight balls and I talk to myself on 
my Facebook wall
       C     G F  C   G F
I'm awesome!


[Bridge]
                  Dm
Further more I'm cornier than 
ethynol. Cheesier than provolone
  Dm
I spent years eight to ten living in
 a motor home
C
   With a ego the size of Tim 
Duncan. Even though I got shit for 
brains like a Blumpkin
    C
I'm twenty four serving lobster 
rolls because I spent a decade 
filling Optimos
        Dm
And I'm not even the bomb in Maine 
on my game and only about as sexy as
 John McCain
             C
Now put your hands up ff you have 
nightmares
                F
If you wouldn't man up if there was 
a fight here
           G
If you got dandruff, if you drink 
light beer....I'm out of breath


[Chorus]
           C
But I'm awesome! No you're not dude,
 don't lie
       F
I'm awesome! I'm drivin' around in 
my mom's ride
       G
I'm awesome! A quarter of my life 
gone by and I met all my friends 
online
                    C
Motherfucker I'm awesome! I will run
 away from a brawl
       F
I'm awesome! There's no voice mail, 
nobody called
       G
I'm awesome! I can't afford to buy 
eight balls and I talk to myself on 
my Facebook wall
       C     G F   C  G F
I'm awesome!