She's not impressed by the way that I dress
Or the work that I do from nine to two
Even this hair, she don't seem to care
No, she's not impressed with me, no

I even told her about the wave
I rode for miles down in Nazare
The locals even told me I could stay
I was king for a day

She's not impressed
Though she may be depressed
So, I'll cut her some slack until her senses come back
She loves all the music she hears on TV
But she's not impressed with me

I even showed her how I can
Sing like Sinatra with a big brass band
She said: Can I sit? I don't want to stand
Why don't we give him a hand?

She's not impressed, and sometimes I test it
To see what it takes to get her invested
What must I do, and to what degree
To make you impressed with me?

If she's the apple of my eye
Then I'm the lemon of hers
I could make her something sweet
And she would turn it to curds

I could tell her something sweet
She'd misinterpret the words
What an odd and unexpected little curse
But if I'm honest, I could still imagine worse

I could buy her fancy presents
I could sail the seven seas
She's still not impressed with me
No, she's not impressed with me