[Matthew]
Some boys will bring your flowers
Some will even serenade

[Jessi]
But you and me will while away the hours
Just a-dishin' and a-throwin' shade

[Jessi and Matthew]
Forever side by side
Through snark and snide
I'm stuck to you like glue

[Matthew]
So, honey, who needs
Who needs a boy when I got you?

[Jessi]
When life's loses and clowns start getting you down, I'll be there to share your cutting glare

[Matthew]
And when the stink of the world makes you just wanna hurl, you can count on me to hold your hair

[Jessi and Matthew]
Cause when it comes to hate, I've found the perfect mate and baby, you know what else will do
So tell me who needs, who needs a boy when I got you

And I never expect you to hold me tight
And lock me in your loving gaze
But I know I'll have a shoulder to cry on

[Matthew]
That is, if I were inclined to such pathetic displays

[Jessi and Matthew]
Guys may come and guys may go
And we'll size 'em up in half a glance

[Connie]
Say, Maury, these kids got some chemistry

[Maury]
Nope, she'll never get into his pants
Sorry

[Jessi and Matthew]
Maybe someday, we'll find true love
And drift apart like friends will do

[Matthew]
But till then

[Jessi]
Who needs a boy

[Matthew]
Some moron that soon will annoy
I ask ya

[Jessi and Matthew]
Who needs a boy
When I got you?