Well were livin' here in alan town
And he's driven our lives into the ground
When we woke up we were wasted and drunk
Phil got shot

We got beaten by a monk
I was happy and my life was good
Getting married like a dentist should
Roasting marshmallows on a stick
I got fucked in the ass by girl with a dick.

And were livin' here in alan town
But they're takin' teddy's finger and now
And i'm pretty sure i'm gonna lose my shit and shoot alan in the face
Then shoot myself.