Your mother's so fat they didn't call Ghostbusters
Stay Puft Man was all: I don't trust her
In other words, she ate him
Stay Puft Man's big, so that's how we know she's fat, just to clarify

Basketball
A basketball
Yeah? Well, your mother is a basketball
I went there
Your mother is a basketball
A basketball
She's a basketball

Stop
Everybody take five
Good show guys, but I don't feel a vibe
Let it all out, don't hold back, incriminate
Here on this court you've gotta push it to the limit, mate
Reach deep inside
Throw the shots
Come alive
I'll be here tweeting the whole thing live
So guys, be loquacious
Show off your gall
What did you say his mother was again?

A basketball
A basketball! After all
She's bouncing like she had a bottle of Adderall
She's also fat
Not sure if I mentioned that
Twenty-nine inches wide from all sides, to be exact

Man, that's whack, I object! But to change the subject
I double dribbl'd your mom's bombs and she liked it
Now I'm flying higher than a window wiper
While you're airing free throws like a drunken sniper

I'ma lead you to reason like the Zeppelin Piper
If your mom were on Tinder I'd swipe her right 'cause I like her
She's spherical, meaningful, queer, and clerical
A leather planet with a gravity that makes you feel the pull

Ooh!
Feeling it now, moves smoove, so adroit (in empty stadiums we hide)
World's hearing it now, Down Under to Detroit
Pity the pal who fails to score a swish
Never gonna hit the buzzer 'cause she just won't fit
Not that curvy's bad, boys (en masse amassing eyes shut wide)
In fact, it's sad that the Women's NBA's isn't more round and rad
Don't lose ground
Be a man
Do they fit basketballs with gastric bands?

Oedipus Rex, Electra complex
Pegasus wings on these foot springs, but I digress
Surf's up aboard a tidal wave of jump
Yo' 'boks probably don't even pump, chump!
Sup?
I got pump up 'boks, I'll palm my ball in my hand
And shoot infinity points from up across this land
So you can't press the man if you know what's best, son
Lest you wanna become a tripping guessing lesson

Slam dunk!
Foul?
Ref, make the call!
Oh gee, oh gosh, this is all too much
Guys, I gotta confide
I'm just an actress, y'all, picked last at the dang-blasted casting call

Some games don't have winners
Some chickens don't end up on plates for dinners
They contain the innards
But we know the Sun will always rise and always fall
And that your mother will always be a basketball

Basketball
A basketball
If you're listening, your mother is a basketball
That's right, you
Your mother is a basketball
She's a basketball
Bouncy basketball

Over a rainbow in despair
Somehow
Somewhen
Someway
Somewhere