E            G#m
Fell upon a Tuesday
D            C#m             A
When I had just got down to work
E                   F#m  A  B
And everything went grey
E                 G#m
So I caught a bus Wednesday,
D             C#m           A
Thought a vacation well-deserved
E                 F#m  A  B
And all my edges frayed


[Chorus 1]
A            Am
Address your letters to:
E         G#m
Midlist author (Midlist author)
C#m               B                         F#m
You're never the best but you're never the worst
E         G#m
Why even bother? (even bother?)
C#m              B                       F#m
You'll never be last but you'll never be first
     A                              Am
Have another taste of fame when they mispronounce your name
E  G#m  D          C#m                A     E   F#m  A  B
          When they mispronounce your name


[Verse 2]
E                   G#m
Strolled along the seaside
D            C#m             A
Amid all the vulgar dreary crowds
E                       F#m  A  B
And a boy cries for his dog
E               G#m
Stolen by a riptide (stolen by a riptide)
D            C#m               A
His mother explains he surely drowned
E                  F#m  A  B
As he weeps upon a log


[Chorus 2]
A           Am
And all my readers sing, oh:
E         G#m
Midlist author (Midlist author)
C#m               B                        F#m
You're never the best but you're never the worst
E         G#m
Why even bother? (even bother?)
C#m              B                        F#m
You'll never be last but you'll never be first
      A                                Am
Maybe one more glass of wine will make everything seem fine
E  G#m  D         C#m                   A     E  F#m  A  B
           Maybe everything will seem fine

[Bridge]
C#m                 E
And nobody's taking chances
C#m                      E                A
Did all those dwindling advances get you down
             B
They get you down


[Verse 3]
E          G#m
Shuffling homeward,
D             C#m            A
I check the receiver on the phone
E              F#m  A  B
No messages returned
E                 G#m
So I started up a new thing (started up a new thing)
D                   C#m                 A
Something ‘bout the sea, a boy, and his dog
E                        F#m  A  B
And these were the first words


[Chorus 3]
A         Am
Dedication TK...
E        G#m
Midlist author (Midlist author)
C#m              B                         F#m
You're never the best but you're never the worst
E         G#m
Why even bother? (even bother?)
C#m              B                        F#m
You'll never be last but you'll never be first
       A                      Am
Maybe novel 22 will make them all remember you