D                        G
Well I heard you've been wonderin
D               G
How I'm gettin' along.
D                         G
I guess you think I can't make it 
         A
With you gone.
D                        G
Well I don't want you to worry
D                  G
Don't you lose any sleep
      D                             G
But a man called long distance this mornin
             A       
Said they're thinkin' bout puttin' me

                D   G
On the cover of USA Today,
   D       A              G         
A story of heartbreak and pain. 
                 D        A          G
A picture of the lonliest man, they claim,
       A   D     
In the USA Today.

D                         G
Well I don't sleep in the night time,
D                      G  
Darkness reminds me of you.
D                              G
I lost eight pounds since last Tuesday,
          A
But I can stand to lose a few.
D                   G
I don't believe I'm too bad,
D                 G
People say I look fine.
    D                         G
The man from the papers seems happy,
         A
Says I'm bigger than the latest crime.

                D    G
On the cover of USA Today,
   D       A              G         
A story of heartbreak and pain. 
                 D        A         G
A picture of the lonliest man, they claim,
       A   D    
In the USA Today.

D                           G
So if you're concerned and troubled,
D                     G
Think you're hurtin' me?
           D                                     G
Don't you worry, 'cause this little thing called losin' you
           A      
Has made a big man out of me.

                    D   G
I'm on the cover of USA Today,
   D                      G         
A story of heartbreak and pain. 
                 D        A        G
A picture of the lonliest man, they claim,
       A   D    
In the USA Today.