Bad little shawty, says she's not over her ex
And she don't wanna know me, it's kinda discouraging
Dating in my late 20's has been kind of rocky
But girl, you ain't the only one, I met this girl last night
And I'm not gunna fuck this one up

She got her pronouns and BLM, ACAB displayed in her bio
I found that shit kinda peculiar, so last night I asked her at dinner like
What about black cops?

[Maeve]
Umm, what about them?

[Sonny]
No, like, do you condemn them for having that job
Or does their life still matter to you?

[Maeve]
You conservative asshole!

[Sonny]
Wait, I was just asking a question?

[Maeve]
Well, you shouldn't have asked it!

And she got up and left then!

Was that my fault? I'm not sure, but it might have been
Some oats are sown, some hot, some cold

Pretty lil mami, dad owns a business and mom is a teacher
She seems really pleasant, that's why I'm confused
Why her truck had a sticker that said: Come and take it
But girl, I'm bout to find out

She said: Sonny, could we first get something real quick to eat?
So I suggested this new vegan spot up the street, they require proof of vaccine
She said: I never got the vaccine and I don't eat fake meat
Are you some sort of liberal pussy?

[Sonny]
I'm not sure what that has to do with their chicken and waffles
Girl, trust me, this stuff really isn't that awful

[Maeve]
It sucks cause I thought you were cute
But my parents would never approve

And she got up and left!

Was that my fault? I'm not sure, but it might have been
Some oats are sown, some hot, some cold

I met this shawty in the club last night, it was emo night on a Tuesday
We had a back-and-forth about all the bands that they never play at these, we both wish they would
Somehow we got to talking 'bout how much we hate all the ads on YouTube these days
She put her drink down and grabbed my hand, I'm feeling optimistic
And now we're dancing, nothing dirty, just innocent

And then she asked me

[Maeve]
Hey, what month were you born in?

[Sonny]
September

[Maeve]
You Virgo piece of shit

[Sonny]
I'm sorry?

[Maeve]
Yeah, I'm sorry too, I quit you assholes last year

[Sonny]
I'm not sure I follow you?

[Maeve]
It's called astrology, and we're far from compatible

That just might be the dumbest shit I've ever heard

[Maeve]
That's it, I'm leaving

We used to go to every after-school event just to sit in the bleachers and hold hands
We used to go to every movie and not ever know whatever the fuck they were about
We used to spend all day just walking in the mall and buy nothing
Somewhere down the line, I swear to God we all became monsters 'cause we never get along

I just might be destined to grow old and lonely, poor-ass has-been
You just might be destined for bad jobs and bills and a bad husband
Maybe you're insufferable or maybe I could be more humble