I grew a garden, planted petunias
I only tend to what’s my own
But all the corn that I saved to feed my family
Was burned up heating soldier’s homes

The other day I went and paid my taxes
That we might build some better roads
The Eagle smiled slyly counting up my quarters
Bought some expensive red, white and blue clothes

Simon Peter and John went fishing
Out to the ocean to escape their nagging wives
If I have one more hook that comes up empty
I’m gonna go get drunk with Judas tonight

Easter Sunday, those choirs singing
Jesus stands there idly by
Was it for a pastel dress and chocolate candy
That I was fucking crucified?

When I was younger, I once loved a woman
Not unlike children love their gods
It was irreverent to pick a pale white clover
For sex we’ll kill whatever we want

On the computer I saw her topless
I felt more lonesome jacking off
But if I don’t say something vulgar in my lyrics
No one’s gonna listen to my songs