Bm                            E
I'm scared of the basement of Harold's Pawn Shop,
     Bm                  Em
I've heard tales of what goes down there.
Bm               Em                Bm          Em
Mid-life crises, high on Dilauded, Valium, and crystal meth.


  Cadd9           D
Harold and Margo, feeling no pain
 Cadd9           D
Fifty and crazy, big hair and cocaine.


        Em7  Fmr    G                Cadd9
If they call on the phone, tell them I'm not home.
        Em7     Fmr     G         Cadd9
That night with Margo was a long time ago.
         Em7    Fmr G        Cadd9
It makes me nervous how much Harold knows,
    Em7 Fmr G                Cadd9
and the way that he looks at you.


        Em7     Fmr     G        Cadd9
I don't want to see why Harold's now skinny.

        Em7  Fmr    G       Cadd9
I don't want to see Margo's bikini.
      Em7  Fmr        G        Cadd9
So if they call, tell them you ain't seen me 
   Em7  Fmr    G        Cadd9
or that I'm in too much pain.
  Cadd9           D
Harold and Margo, taking aim.
   Cadd9          D
Horny and loaded, big-hair and cocaine.