Dm   Am
If I could
 H
Want my own private jet
 Dm       Am
I know I should
 H
But I'll never buy my kids
            Dm  Am
From Africa or Ukraine
 H
And I'll never understand this
              A
I've lived my whole life again

[Chorus]

              Gm             Em           Dm
I'm not gonna wake up with a dead celebrity
               Gm
And I'll never pay up
                 Em       Dm
To the Church of Scientology
                   Cm
I'll never have to face up
        Am
To the cameras at the door
              B    Dm
Pills on the floor

[Verse 2]

 H
And I'll suffer at the hands
   Dm       Am
Of born-against
 H
And get punished
               Dm        Am
By a fan with old dog breath
 H
But then I'd never feel
                         Dm      Am
The warm embrace of the pouring rain
 H
Or carry my dog in a handbag
               Dm       Am
Cause that is patently insane

[Chorus]

              Gm             Em           Dm
I'm not gonna wake up with a dead celebrity
               Gm
And I'll never pay up
                 Em       Dm
To the Church of Scientology
                   Cm
I'll never have to face up
        Am
To the cameras at the door
              B    Dm
Pills on the floor

              Gm             Em           Dm
I'm not gonna wake up with a dead celebrity
               Gm
And I'll never pay up
                 Em       Dm
To the Church of Scientology
                Cm
I'll never have to face up
        Am
To the cameras at the door
              B    Dm
Pills on the floor