C
This morning it occurred to me
   Fm                                   C
I might not look quite like a natural blonde
      Eb                   C
And I can't help but feel conned
     C
The picture on the package
         Fm
Showed a model with no baggage
     Eb                   Db
Promising wild sex and marriage
         C
With a big colour chart wand

     C
This morning it occurred to me
    Fm
I never will quite have
        C
A supermodel's legs (never in a million years!)
         Eb      Db       C
Unless I cut each one in half
  C
Become half an octopus
     Fm
The two become synonymous
       Eb          Db
With cocaine, glamour
          C
Riches, beauty, and crack

 Fm                            G      Cm
I took a trip to the National Gallery for
 F                                  G
Something more refreshing in what Rubens saw

         C
My supermodel's legs
                 Fm                         C            Fm
Think they were plucked from a Ruben-esque world (Oh oh, oh oh)
         C
My supermodel's legs
             Fm                      C     Eb Db C
Look pretty crap on a five-foot-four girl (Oh oh ohh)

 C
Women, men, and in-betweens
      Fm
Why don't you just stop dieting?
   Eb
Go bake! Eat cake! Go cheer! Drink beer!
   C
Worrying is boring

     C
If people said "eat loads of cake"
    Fm
You wouldn't want much anyway
     Eb             Db
And then you would stuff your face
     C
And look like King Henry the Eighth
  C
Present we're told off every day
      Fm
For living our lives the wrong damn way
   C
"Suck my left one"'s what I say
   Eb             Db    C
If I want six coffees a day

 C
Women, men, and in-betweens
      Fm
Why don't you just stop dieting?
   Eb
Go bake! Eat cake! Go cheer! Drink beer!
   C
Worrying is boring me

          Fm                                G   Cm
Oh I get more turned on by big cupcakes than heroin
 F                                  G
Not 'rock and roll' and much more 'Mary Poppins'

        C
Oh supermodel's legs
            Fm                         C           Fm
They never held up much weight in my world (Oh oh, oh oh)
        C
Oh supermodel's legs
               Fm
'Cause women should be women
                   C                  Eb  Db  C
Girls should be allowed to be girls (Oh oh, oh oh)

(Too right!)