O Lord please don't burn us,
don't gril or toast your flock.
Don't put us on the barbecue,
or simmer us in stock.
Don't braise or bake or boil us
or stir fry us in a wok.
Oh please don't lightly poach us
or bast us with hot fat.
Don't fricassee or roast us
or boil us in a vat,
and please don't stick thy servant Lord
in a Rotissomat.

Amen