C
I am a sad sack
                       Am
You can fit me in your backpack
F                      G                        C            F C
Stuffed way down in the bottom where everything is pitch black
     C
I am lunch sack
                    Am
Just apple cores and fruit snacks
     F            G                          C       F C
With way too many problems for you to have to unpack

[Pre-Chorus]
     F               G                C    F C
I am literally way beyond the need for help
        F               G                C     F C
And I'm way too fucking anxious to help myself
F             G                 C   G   Am
I can be your monster or just an end to a means
F                 G                    Am
I can be a better tool than a friend or fiend

[Chorus]
             F                         G
So when your boss has finally gone too far
           C      G      Am
There's no easier way to retire
        F                            G                C
So just pick up the phone and call a murder person for hire


[Verse 2]
               C
You're playing blackjack
                     Am
With a deck that is all black
     F                        G                       C           F C
Only kings and queens up your sleeve with a very handy card stack
              C
I can bring a rucksack
                             Am
Fill it with guns and wear a face mask
           F                      G                             C        F C
And with a bulletproof vest, I'll wait 'til its time to get some payback


[Pre-Chorus]
     F               G                C    F C
I am literally way beyond the need for help
        F               G                C     F C
And I'm way too fucking anxious to help myself
F             G                 C   G   Am
I can be your monster or just an end to a means
F                 G                    Am
I can be a better tool than a friend or fiend


[Chorus]
             F                        G
So when your dad has finally gone too far
           C      G       Am
There's no easier way to retire
           C      G         Am
There's no better queer to admire
        F                 G
So just pick up the phone
     F                 G
Just pick up the phone
     F                            G                C       F C G C
Just pick up the phone and call a murder person for hire