C
Yeah, I lef' home when the kid was three.
   F
It sure felt good to be fancy free
G                                                C
Tho I knew it wasn't quite the fatherly thing to do.
         C
But that kid kept screamin' and throwin' up
    F
And pissin' in his pants til I had enough
    G                                    C
So just for revenge I went and named him Sue.


[Verse 2]
    C
Yeah it was Gatlinburg in mid July
       F
I was gettin' drunk and gettin' by
   G                               C
Gettin' old and goin' from bad to worse
 C
When thru the door with an awful scream
           F
comes the ugliest queen I've ever seen
        G
He says Hi, my name is Sue how do you do?
                          C
then he hit me with his purse


[Verse 3]
     C
Now this ain't the way he tells the tale
          F
but he scratched my face with his fingernails
             G                                               C
And then he bit my thumb and kicked me with his high-heeled shoe (I can be a tiger)
 C
I punched him in the nose and he started to cry
         F
and he threw some perfume in my eye
        G                                         C
And it sure ain't easy fightin' with a boy named Sue (I can be an animal)


[Verse 4]
   C
I whacked him in the head with a table and a chair
         F
And he screamed hey dad you messed my hair
        G                                                    C
And he kicked me in the navel and knocked out a piece of my lint
         C
He was spittin' blood I was spittin' teeth
         F
And we crashed through the wall and out into the street
    G                                                            C
A kickin' and gougin' in the mud and the blood and his creme de menthe


[Verse 5]
 C
Then out of his panties he pulls a gun
      F
I'm about to get shot by my very own son
       G                                        C
He's screamin' 'bout Sigmund Freud and lookin' grim (I have problems)
   C
So I thought fast and I told him some stuff
       F
How I named him Sue just to make him tough
       G                                            C
And I guess he bought it 'cause now I'm livin' with him


[Verse 6]
         C
Yeah he cooks and sews and cleans up the place
    F
he cuts my hair and shaves my face
      G                                          C
And irons my shirts better than a daughter could do (I'm so domestic)
    C
And on the nights that I can't score
     F
well I can't tell you anymore
 G                                C
Sure is a joy to have a boy like Sue


[Outro]
          G                                   C
yeeeah a son is fun but it's a real joy with Sue (that hurts dad)