I have a real big fear of getting a real career
Steer clear of responsibility
My only ability is drinking beer
It's taken me six years to come close to getting a B. A
I can't say why the delay
Oh, and there's that loan I gotta repay
Well good news all you friends and fans
I still haven't a clue why I still draw Xs on my hands
Some stop and ask if Minor Threat's Philosophy is over yet
My personal poison is meant to be Hi-C and candy cigarettes I guess

Now you can't really call me the worst scoundrel alive
When all I do is sit on my ass and play NHL 2005
Hey, how do you like the free ad, EA Sports
Courtesy of your #1 fan, Kidd Ickarus of course
Now I relax, I take the easy raps, in fact afraid of challenge
I manage to damage any track I reprimanded for lack of talent
It's sad and understood I'm scandalous and never could be fabulous at all
So, if you are looking for the real Cash leave a message and I'll tell him that you called

Society's led us to believe that we all become rock stars
But I'm seeing my champagne dreams turn into ramen noodles and Pop Tarts
Say goodbye to the hot cars, high life, easy livin'
Forget about bedding supermodels, I'll settle for sleazy women
The life of a slacker is not intended to be one big hurdle
Sometimes it acts intense like the guy from the Guitar Center commercials
The world will just you mostly just for knowing me
Yet they're the ones on the internet writing the sad poetry (whoa is me)

The light at the end of the tunnel's getting dimmer and I'm losing hope
It's getting harder to cope with the fact that I'm at the end of my rope
Now I'm not saying that I ain't got no ambition
But I can't find the ignition for my motivation and vision
It often seems like I'm living a dream within a dream
Except the meaning fades and nothing quite happens in-between
There are even days I'm sitting in a parked car
The scenery changes as I watch each day just stop and start

My pockets are shallow, I'm flat-broke, living in a rat-hole
Seems like a bad joke to this lazy asshole
Don't get me wrong, I'm not pointing any fingers
I'm not a victim of the system, I put my own tit in this ringer
I need to look for my way out, to find happiness, respect and clout
A lout en route to a meaningful life
That's what it's about
But then again, when I think about it
You know what? I think I still have my doubts