I hate the internet, I hate the internet, it's true
I hate the internet and the internet, it hates me too

The well of human happiness ran dry
So we made a God and named him wi-fi
We surrendered happiness and truth
For a future with no meaning, and next day shipping too

I hate the internet, I hate the internet, it's true
I hate the internet and the internet, it hates me too

Now we're unhappy, now we're all sad
But our new overlords tell us it ain't that bad

I hate the internet, I hate the internet, it's true
I hate the internet and the internet, it hates me too

You might think I'm out of line
But just give it time
You'll see too
You'll see too

Let me tell you something, buddy
The internet hates you too
The internet hates you too
The internet hates you too
The internet hates you, hates you, hates you too