He used to travel in bath cubes, until the slump came
Faced with redundancy
He turned his mind to other things
And soon became a household name

(Knicker Elastic!)
Everybody used it!
(Knicker Elastic!)
Nobody refused it!

(The Knicker Elastic King!)
(The Knicker Elastic King!)

A self-made man with a business to run
And something to sell to everyone
(The Knicker Elastic King!)

He grew so rich the Gnomes of Zurich
Were green with envy
The darling of the Stock Exchange
Made the New Year's Honours List
And won the Queen's Award To Industry

(Knicker Elastic!)
Essence of propriety!
(Knicker Elastic!)
Upholder of society!

(The Knicker Elastic King!)

His rubber business kept expanding
But then disaster

The price of raw materials
Coupled with inflation
Squeezed his global holdings
His liquid assets bottomed out
And shrunk his retail outlet operation

And that's the story of the
The Knicker Elastic King!
(And market forces)
The Knicker Elastic King!
(Horses for courses)

A self-made man with a business to run
And something to sell to everyone
(The Knicker Elastic King!)

(The Knicker Elastic King!)