Yeehaw!

I'm a road goat, baby
I'm the terror of 101
I'm a road goat, honey
No muster on my truck

Gas station nacho cheese
Late night grub only cops would eat
Microwaved burritos and beans
Jet propulsion, see?

Crotch all wet from spillin' beer
Snatch a pizza from the freezer
Eat raw in the store without paying a dime
Hey what are you doing? Bye!

Road goat
Road goat
Rain or sleet or snow, don’t you rock me daddy-o
Get out of my way, eat smoke

Yeah, I'm a road goat, baby
My beard slappin' in the wind
I'm a road goat, honey
That gene's my next of kin

Lift my armpit, people drop like flies
I take them home, hang them from the trees
Skin them in the barn, make them into clothes
Sell the rest to my pillow stores

Roll down the windows, flies buzz inside
Roll, back up and feel the bite
Itch my arms and scratch my legs
Lick the goo right off my hands!

Road goat
Road goat
Down the canyon, ninety on the way
Double lines, who, me?
Y'all pull over at the sight of me
Grab the kids and scream!
Scream!

No one will catch my ass
We know, tort daughter pass
Oh shit, a border stop
Look at all them cops!

Oh no, the fruit police!
The fruit police?
The fruit police
Got any fruit in your car? Pull over now!

There's a PO box at tolman, Colorado
And I got my hell out of dodge
A melting twist cone in my hand
Across their windshield, splat! (take that!)

If I should crash against a tree
Be sure to bury me
With my buzz martening tracks
And my trusty gun
And my chainsaw across my knee!

Road goat!