Dm  
I wrote this song on an airport piano
                                           Gm  
I was the guy disturbing your journey from security

To gate twenty-three A
Bb             C      Dm  
Maybe you noticed me

I wrote this song cos I had a spare hour

I was delayed trying to get back to my babies in Sydney
                   Gm                  Bb
And I noticed the keys so I’m writing a song
C
Singin’


[Chorus]

F                                  Am  
Women in SUV Porsches always look miserable
                               Dm  
I don’t know why they’re so sad
Dm                                   Bb
Maybe it’s the calories they coulda had
C                    F
Filling them up with regret
F
And men in cafes in ski resorts
Am
Trying to connect with their sons
                                 Dm
Look like they just wanna hit ‘em
                          Bb      C                     Dm
I mean I’m sure that they dig ‘em underneath all the gear

[Bridge]

Dm      Dm/C       Dm/B
A young man in Air Jordans
             Bb                  F
Just left me five dollars on the piano
         C     Dm  
Whattaya know


[Verse 2]

Dm
I always hated those airport pianos
                                              Gm                Dm  
Should be a law saying playing the theme from Beverly Hills Cop
Gm                         Bb
Will get one of your hands chopped off
Dm  
I wrote this song on an airport piano

I’m out of time I just need one more little rhyme
                         Gm  
I gotta board that plane

They’re calling my name

So I’m writing a song
C
Singin’

[Chorus]
F                                 Am  
Women in SUV Porsches always look miserable
                   Dm  
Or is it only the Botox
                                  Bb                     C
They stick in their face to keep their looks from slipping
        C                        F
They’re kicking the can down the road
    F
And men in mansions on cul-de-sacs
Am  
Having their midlife affairs
                      Dm  
With the wife of a banker
                              Bb
While the banker is banging Bianca
    C                         Dm  
But sadly they’re still gonna die


[Bridge]

Dm       Dm/C     Dm/B
A guy buying Subway
G         Bb
Anxiously digs through his cabin bag
F                         C
Smiles when his wallet is found
         Dm  Dm/C     Dm/B
Pays for his six-inch
     Dm               C
Then forgets that his bag is unzipped
       Bb
So the contents of it
    Bb
Is disgorged
             F                      C
And a jar of Viagra spills onto the ground
N.C
So it goes


[CHorus]
F                                  Am
Women in SUV Porsches always look miserable
                           Dm  
And I know why they’re so sad
                                         Bb
They thought they’d be happier than they were in their Fords
                C
But now they’re bored of their Porsches
            F
And they’re looking for more
F
They’re out there shopping for more
          Am  
And their husband’s so fat in his new Lycra shorts
          Dm  
Trying to peddle his way back to ninety-four
          Bb                     C
Trying to wind back the clock to before
                        F
To before they had this boat and this house
F
And this buy-to-let mortgage
   Am  
To before they had bought all the things that they thought
      Dm  
Would fill up the hole but the goal keeps receding
        Bb                            C
And his hair is receding there’s this book he’s been reading for
F
Six months but the words just swim round the pages
    Am  
And god it’s been ages since they made love
C       Dm  
And the kids are on drugs
                            Bb
With their ADHD and their anxiety
          C
And their music is shit
                         F
And the time just keeps slipping away
                       Am  
But I’m sitting here playing and singing

And they are calling my name
          Dm  
Cos your flight’s gotta go when your flight’s gotta go
      Bb                    C             F
And I wrote this song on an airport piano