Dm
I wrote this song on an airport piano
Dm                                           Gm
I was the guy disturbing your journey from security
   Gm
To gate twenty-three A
Bb        C
Maybe you noticed me
Dm
I wrote this song cos I had a spare hour
Dm                                     Gm/D
I was delayed trying to get back to my babies in Sydney
      Gm                      Bb        C
And I noticed the keys so I’m writing a song

Singin’


[Chorus]
F                                 Am
Women in SUV Porsches always look miserable
                            Dm
I don’t know why they’re so sad
                             Bb
Maybe it’s the calories they coulda had
C                      F
Filling them up with regret
                    F
And men in cafes in ski resorts
Am
Trying to connect with their sons
                          Dm
Look like they just wanna hit ‘em
                          Bb           C             Dm  Dm/C  Dm/B
I mean I’m sure that they dig ‘em underneath all the gear


[Bridge]

                   Dm  Dm/C  Dm/B
A young man in Air Jordans
                  Bb             Am
Just left me five dollars on the piano
         C
Whattaya know


[Verse 2]
Dm
I always hated those airport pianos
Dm                                            Gm
Should be a law saying playing the theme from Beverly Hills Cop
                                   Bb  C
Will get one of your hands chopped off
Dm
I wrote this song on an airport piano
Dm
I’m out of time I just need one more little rhyme
        Gm
I gotta board that plane
        Gm
They’re calling my name
       Bb        C
So I’m writing a song

Singin’


[Chorus]
F                                 Am
Women in SUV Porsches always look miserable
                  Dm
Or is it only the Botox
                                 Bb
They stick in their face to keep their looks from slipping
        C                        F
They’re kicking the can down the road
                       F
And men in mansions on cul-de-sacs
Am
Having their midlife affairs
                   Dm
With the wife of a banker
                              Bb
While the banker is banging Bianca
    C                         Dm  Dm/C  Dm/B
But sadly they’re still gonna die


[Bridge]
             Dm  Dm/C  Dm/B
A guy buying Subway
          Bb
Anxiously digs through his cabin bag
 Am                       C
Smiles when his wallet is found
         Dm  Dm/C  Dm/B
Pays for his six-inch
                      Dm       Dm/C
Then forgets that his bag is unzipped
       Dm/B                 Bb
So the contents of it is disgorged
               F                    C
And a jar of Viagra spills onto the ground

So it goes


[Chorus]
F                                 Am
Women in SUV Porsches always look miserable
                          Dm
And I know why they’re so sad
                                         Bb
They thought they’d be happier than they were in their Fords
                C
But now they’re bored of their Porsches
            F
And they’re looking for more, they’re out there shopping for more
          Am
And their husband’s so fat in his new Lycra shorts
          Dm
Trying to peddle his way back to ninety-four
          Bb                       C
Trying to wind back the clock to before, to before
              F
They had this boat and this house and this buy-to-let mortgage
     Am
To before they had bought all the things that they thought
      Dm
Would fill up the hole but the goal keeps receding
        Bb                            C
And his hair is receding there’s this book he’s been reading for
F
Six months but the words just swim round the pages
    Am
And god it’s been ages since they made love
        Dm                                          Bb
And the kids are on drugs with their ADHD and their anxiety
          C
And their music is shit
        F
And the time just keeps slipping away
                     Am
But I’m sitting here playing and singing and they are calling my name
         Dm
Cos your flight’s gotta go when your flight’s gotta go
      Bb                    C            F
And I wrote this song on an airport piano