I yearned to be the first to reach out on your birthday
Oh, what a twisted way of showing you I care
You threatened to show all your new friends our secret handshake
And like Halloween
I'll be here once a year

When you tried to take your life
We were just happy you survived
You confirmed you can't do nothing right
Like you couldn't even die
If you tried

You're not mad but I can tell I've disappointed you
The kind of quiet
That creates tension in a home
Three hundred people in this town
But not one worth driving to
You're the reason for all the crosses by the road

I am all-knowing about you
It's a burden I bear
I think my brain would be empty
If not for the cell we share
I fixate on
Shit you forgot
Like a hard drive
Of your half-baked thoughts

When you tried to take your life
You felt ashamed that you survived
Thought if there was one thing you'd do right
It'd be the best Irish goodbye

Man, I'm missing you to death
But it hasn't come to that
You can ominously end
But not yet
Not yet
Not yet
Not yet

You're dead set on leaving the world
The same way you had found
I'll crane my neck
Looking up to somebody in the ground

I was born to stay right here
And you can't stay in one spot
I don't move so you can reference
How far you have gone
Look back until I'm lost
Until you've finally forgot

If you were always notified when you were
In the dreams I've dreamt
I think you'd be the one ignoring all my calls
I've known you long enough to know
When you are playing dead
When I check in
It's like I'm feeling for a pulse