[Madeline]
Oh, that felt good

[Ernest]
Oh my God

[Madeline]
That felt really, really good
That was like therapy
Honestly, what a release!

[Ernest]
That was brutal! You just committed murder! In cold blood!

[Madeline]
You know, you're really ruining my high

[Ernest]
Your, what is the matter with you?
You are going to get life in prison!
And that is not good for someone in your condition!

[Madeline]
Except you can't go to prison without a dead body, and we do not have a dead body!

[Helen]
That was rude
That was pretty fuckin' rude
Just look at me, I've been shot

[Ernest]
She's alive!

[Madeline]
And yet she's not

[Helen]
So rude

[Madeline]
Screw you!

[Helen]
I need a doctor

[Madeline]
Oh, do you?
You're a walking lie
And I can see right through you!

[Helen]
Come here

[Madeline]
Come here

[Helen]
I wanna wipe that perfect smile off your face

[Madeline]
Come, give this a taste

[Madeline and Helen]
Come here
You little rat
I'm gonna break you
Tear you to pieces

[Helen]
Stop teasing, bitch, just hit me!

[Ernest]
Wait, wait, wait!
We're not focusing on the big picture here!
Why is no one dying?

[Madeline]
It has to be the potion

[Helen]
Oh, you think?

[Ernest]
What potion?

[Helen]
You think it was the spooky magic drink?

[Madeline]
I wish you were dead

[Helen]
Don't lose your head!

[Madeline]
Oh, shut your hole!
I should've known you took it, too!

[Helen]
I took it years before you!

[Ernest]
Wait a minute, let me try and understand this

[Madeline and Helen]
Shut up, Ernest, the women are talking
We've got this shit under control

[Helen]
Come here

[Madeline]
Come here

[Madeline and Helen]
I'm gonna have you bagged and dropped in a ditch

[Helen]
En garde, bitch!

[Madeline and Helen]
Come here
I'm gonna injure you severely
Dearly departed

[Ernest]
Stop!

[Madeline and Helen]
We're just getting started!

[Madeline]
This is pointless, we can't even inflict pain on each other!

[Helen]
Pain?
You wanna talk pain?
You wanna talk Bobby, Kevin, Ernest
And all my other loves you shoved down the drain?

[Madeline]
Oh, please don't act like you're the victim here
Admit you've called me trash behind my back
My whole career

[Madeline and Helen]
You wanted my life
So you destroyed it
Admit you enjoyed it!

[Ernest]
Stop!

[Madeline and Helen]
Ow, yeah
Hit me!
Ow, yeah
Hit me like you mean it
Do what you will, you still can't kill me!

[Helen]
Slut!

[Madeline]
Whore!

[Madeline and Helen]
God, that felt good!