A  E  E  A
A  E  E  A


[Verse 1]
   A              E
As Martin said to Xanthe
        E                  A
As they played with wooden toys
     A                E
'You may have Wendy's playhouse
    E                     A
But where the hell's your boys?'
   A                         E
As Paul said to Fifi as they eyed each other up
     E                                 A
'You may have better plimsoles but you can't pee standing up'


[Pre-Chorus]
        D       A                D
And I'd like to take the time to bite
               E
Their neck and make it bleed
D                A
Or maybe I could cut holes in their
D              E  D  A/D#  E/B
Daddys' Harris Tweed


[Chorus]
A                             E
I can't put-put-put my finger on it, finger on it (I can't put my finger on it, on it)
E                             A
Maybe it's something in their food
A                             E
I can't put-put-put my finger on it, finger on it (I can't put my finger on it, on it)
E                             A
All I know is Christ would've sued


[Instrumental]
A  E  E  A


[Verse 2]
   A              E
As Sharon said to Jamie
        E              A
As they sat down for a chat
        A                 E
'If you think I'm cooking dinner
         E                A
Well, prepare to eat dead rat'
   A                           E
As Debbie said to Alex as they held hands in the park
     E                               A
'How come you wear rupert check when you think you're so hard?'


[Pre-Chorus]
      D                  A
And I should've done his Land Rover
D          E
To let him know I'd been
D         A
Instead I wrote 'F OFF'
       D                E  D  A/D#  E/B
On the dirt across his screen


[Chorus]
A                             E
I can't put-put-put my finger on it, finger on it (I can't put my finger on it, on it)
E                             A
Maybe it's something in their food
A                             E
I can't put-put-put my finger on it, finger on it (I can't put my finger on it, on it)
E                             A
All I know is Christ would've sued


[Instrumental]
A  E  E  A
A  E  E  A


[Bridge]
  A                                 E
I wish I'd let them know that I was here
  E                               A
A drop of arsenic in the wine, sulphuric acid in the beer


[Chorus]
A                             E
I can't put-put-put my finger on it, finger on it (I can't put my finger on it, on it)
E                             A
Maybe it's something in their food
A                             E
I can't put-put-put my finger on it, finger on it (I can't put my finger on it, on it)
E                             A
All I know is Christ would've sued