Am F Dm G E


[Verse]
Am
“To Be Born As Anything But This”
F
The Dying Wish Of A Dinosaur’s Dish
      Dm
Of No Use, A Shitty Gift Like A Single Slipper
        G                           E
I Go Diffuse In City Quick Like The Little Dipper
      Am
She’s Cute With Little Titties And A Sense Of Humor
       F
But To Tell You The Truth, Sir, I Pity The Poor Fool
       Dm
Her, Fruitless In A Holster And Clueless In A Kiss
    G                             E
I’m Older Than Death. Vulgar With Unfresh Breath
       Am
During Sex I Might Put Us In Some Joke Positions
         F
But It’s Scary

Always How We End Up In Mission-
 Dm
-ary Like The Daring Men Who Fight To Submission
       G                                  E
Barely Conscious There To Care About This Split Decision
          Am
Your Sour Thoughts You Wield At Me, You Ring Out Your Mellon
       F
But It Yields Only Drops Like An Unripe Lemon
Dm
All A Man Can Understand Is Your Bad Intentions
    G                                   E
The Less You Talk The More You Draw And Seal An Ending
     Am
Keep Leafing Through The Glossary

Sittin’ There Puffin’ Weed
 F
Telling Me Repeatedly All The Things You Wanna Be
    Dm
The Thug’s Just A Boy, Wants My Money In The Bag
     G                             E
Was Your Love But A Ploy Like Bugs Bunny In Drag?
   Am
I Leave My Lungs Open, Exposed To The Whole Crew
      F
While You Sneak A Bump, And Smoke Cloves In The Coat room
Dm
Itching Like A Local Ho

Wishing Like Pinocchio
    G
The Wind Is At My Back A-new
    E
But Still I Feel The Lack Of You
  Am
Oh, You Were So Heavy In My Heart, Boo
              F
That Soon, No Longer Could My True Heart Hold You
             Dm
And Like The Angular Etruscan Tchotchke My Mom Got Me
        G                 E
In The Met Gift Shop In ‘92
                  Am
Tearing From The Brown Paper Bag I Kept It In When It Was New
        F
After I Left It Overnight And It Was Wet With Dew
          Dm
It Sounds Blue, And Shitty

But Of Course, Kid
                 G
Like The Little Skinny Bronze Horse Did
E
You Fell Through
Am
You Were Like A Buoy I Put Down In Open Ocean
         F
But With No Cross Staff, And No Compass In My Possession
    Dm
And Too Far Out For A Lighthouse To Provide Discretion
G                                 E
How Could I Presume That You’d Devine Direction?
Am
Must Have Patience

Accept No Imitations
F
Take No Paper Hearts And Fuckin’ Hate Carnations
Dm
Though My Home Is Vacant

Yeah, I’m Lonesome While I Wait
          G                        E
That’s No Open Invitation, Made To Hope We Make Acquaintance
    Am
The Long Walks Home From The Laundromat
   F
In Pop-pop’s Holden Caulfield Hat Alone
Dm
Lost For Certain, Dry And Pent
     G                      E
Dead, Spent Like A Merchant Ivory Gent
        Am
Yes, To Yet Get A Spouse

And Kids, Have A House-full
        F
But I’m Hard To Be Around

And Sterile As A Roused Mule
    Dm
(preemptive Nostalgia Of The Possible But Doubtful)
   G                        E
Preemptive Nostalgia Of The Possible But Doubtful