G                                                                 A#
I know it’s hypocritical to point fingers at the people who point fingers.
                G                                               A#
But when we all march to the beat of the same different drummer,
                                      G        A#
yeah the steps start to come off like clockwork.
                                        G     A#
I guess I’m saying we could stand to be nicer
C
because when you’re in a basement talking shit
         C#
and interspersing it with speaking in namedrops and units,
G
I must admit I’m not the best when on the defensive.
A#
I’d rather steal your whiskey than your heart in conversation.
G
I’d rather break three strings a song then stick to a routine
A#
like I’m ripe for the picking after growing on a tree
C
and then talk about the industry, cross-market positivity
A
with vinyl nerds and brightly colored, quirky messy record sleeves.
D                                              C Am
I’d rather be vomiting and I despise vomiting. Blugh.

[Chorus]
G
But thanks for the beer.
                                  C
I appreciate your time but can we talk about something else?
G
If you really think that you and I are on the same page
    B                     C
you can go ahead and fuck yourself.
E                       C
Because you’ve got coke and good looks,
E                C
I’ve got overdue library books
E                   C                      G
so let’s be friends and change the subject now.

[Verse]
                                      A#
‘Cause the last thing I wanna be is another negative asshole.
G
Like God speaks through my acoustic guitar
A#
and I’ve got the perfect set of morals
C
on a dry erase board at the front of the house.
C#m
FOLLOW THESE CONDITIONS OR WE’LL KICK YOUR ASS OUT:
G
Vegans only: NO MEAT ALLOWED!
A#
Straight edge only: NO DRINKING ALLOWED!
G
Fixed gears only: NO THDE- SPEEDS ALLOWED!
A#
Me me me!!!: I’M SMART! I’M RIGHT! I’M SMART!
C                                                       A
I think it’s dumb when you take the inherently fun like riding bikes

and singing songs and say they’re not for everyone
D                                          C A
as if for your whole life you were cool as shit.

“Punk tourist!”


[Chorus]
           G                                                          C
‘Cause you still beg for cash cause you spent your parents’ last on a Greyhound to the Fest
         G                                                 B          C
and your jacket says Crass but I don’t give an ass I’m not giving you fifty cents
        E            C          E               C
so that you can buy a forty and destroy a hotel party
        E                   C
and the man who cleans your mess up shrugs and says,
G                              C
“This nonconformity looks like conformity,
Em                                           D#
like boring nice people pose threats to your authority.
G                       C
This positivity is negativity
Em                               D#
and you boys sure left me with a mess to clean.”


G
Smile big, hug bigger. Talk big, act bigger.
C
Stop judging do something, shut the fuck up do something.
G
Instead of sneering at my friends and me ‘cause we’re not stealing
B                                    C
buy a troubled friend a drink at the bar and tip well.
G
Don’t spend your time scoffing when you do that you're just
C
scoffing like the people who scoff at us while defending our community.
G
You’re a teacher, you’re a parent, you’re the head of a dictatorship.
B                                             C
When the ground is covered up in rules you’re guaranteed to power trip.

[Bridge]
G                             C
This nonconformity looks like conformity.
Em                               D#
Why should anyone believe in our community?
G                                   C
This organization doesn’t feel like anarchy ‘cause
Em                                D#
we’re suiting up to have the same identity and the boring nice people say,


G                             C
“Shut up the punx!”x2 All the people who have barbecues to feed their friends and family,
D#                            A#
“Shut up the punx!”x2 All the people writing signs with information, not just blaming things,
G                             C
“Shut up the punx!”x2 All the boys and girls are fed up with just saying that we’re punk, we say,
D#                                      A#
“Shut up the punx!” “Shut up the punx!”