C D G Em
C D G

G                                        D  
You pulled up at the house at half past seven,
        Em          C    
In your ‘69 Impala, shook hands with my father,
       G                                    D
And we stopped off at the drug store by the drive-in,
         Em       
For some Trojans and a six-pack,
C                                      Am
Still your eyes kept wandering back to her,
         C
It’s always her
                                              D
So let’s get one thing straightened out here, sir

Chorus
       C                   D
If you think you’re seeing double
       G             Em
Let me save you some trouble
     C                D                 G
This ain’t no two-for-one bargain here, mister
       C                  D
‘Cause I’m much more than just twice shy
     G              Em
I’ve had enough two-timing guys
    C            D                   G
Who only want me ‘cause they want my sister

                                     D
My eyes are just as blue as hers, my hair is just as fine,
        Em                           C
And the tattoo on her lower back’s exactly just like mine
           G          
But, if you look beneath the surface,
         D
We’re as different as can be,
               Em
‘Cause there’s just one heart that beats for you
         C
And that heart belongs to me
           Am               C
And not to her, it’s always her
                                            D
So let’s get one thing straight if I’m your girl

Chorus

    Em
And if tomorrow you should die
   C
My sister would not bat an eye
    G
She doesn’t even know your name
      D
She’s going with some other guy
   Em
As long as she is still around
     C
I’ll always have a trace of doubt
                                      D
I need to know your love is real, but how?

      G                                    D
We’re all dressed up, the flowers sure are pretty
       Em
Mother pays her last respects
         C
I look around, no one suspects
            G                           D
That it was me who put the Drano in her coffee
    Em 
And now that she is underground
     C
I’ll know that you’re not hanging ‘round
    Am           C
For her, no, not for her
                       D                G
And now I’ll know your love is true for sure

   C                 D
It pains my heart to think of her
  G
A rotting, stinking, maggot-infested,
                               Em
Bloated, and pus-oozing corpse beneath the earth
    C             D               Em
You can’t imagine just how much I miss her,
    C              D               G
But now I know you want me, not my sister.