[Intro] G  E  Am  D7 
        G  E  Am  D7

G                    C7
The wild dog fetches grenades
B7              C7       B7       Em
The drunken wraith wretches  &   fades
G                      Am
A schoolgirl twirls in the wheat field
B7           D           Em
Until a combine catches her braids

G                       C7
The princess picks nits off her lace
B7      C7          Em
And gives her wrist a little spritz of mace
G                   Am
Cupid's so low that he loads up a bow
B7                    D               Em  E7
And he shoots himself full in the face

[Estribillo]

A                        Am
My mother was a half-wit whore
D                            G
She left me at her own front door
A                      Am
My father was a deacon who would often wake up reekin'
D                                    Em     E7  Am  D7
Of the sins he had condemned the day before

G                               C7
If I hear you've been romancing Miss Ruth
          B7             C7        Em
I'm gonna cut you with a cancerous tooth
G                                Am
But first I'll hitch you up to a hell-bitch nag
B7                            D     Em
And let her drag you half the way to Duluth

G                             C7
If I catch you trying to make Miss Trish
          B7              C7    B7  Em
I'm gonna drop you in the lake, ker-splish
G                                  Am
But first I'll lash bricks to your hands and your knees
B7                    D            Em  E7
So you can crawl into bed with the fish

[Estribillo]

A                        Am
My mother was a half-wit whore
D                            G
She left me at her own front door
A                      Am
My father was a deacon who would often wake up reekin'
D                                    Em     E7  Am  D7
Of the sins he had condemned the day before

( G  B7  C7  B7 )
( G  B7  C7  B7 )
( G  E  Am  D7 )

G                         B7  C7
The mentalist straightens his spine
B7                   C7         Em
While his Rubenesque apprentice bends his mind
G                    Am
The two of them ride through the windy, windy night
B7             D        Em
On a levitated elevated line

G                     B7        C7
Now I'm off to meet a marvelous wench
        B7                       Em
I found her name & number carved in a bench
G                                Am
I wouldn't mind at all if you're hot to join the ball
       B7                 D         Em     E7  Am  D7
But if you're not, please pardon my French

[Estribillo]

A                        Am
My mother was a half-wit whore
D                            G
She left me at her own front door
A                      Am
My father was a deacon who would often wake up reekin'
D                                    Em     E7  C  E7
Of the sins he had condemned the day before

[Final] C  E7  C7  B7  D  G7