He's pretty damn tall, got a big old dick
I ain't talking long, I'm just talking thick
Can't hit the back of the tuna can
But he can sure tear up the sides

When the ladies ask, he'll tell them the truth
He can't hit them deep, but he can knock them loose
Saddle on up for the ride of your life
And girl, you'll come to find

That two inches is hell
At ninety miles an hour
When he's bricked up like a stone
Hell, he can go for hours
He ain't hung like a horse
But he sure do got the power
'Cause two inches is hell at ninety miles an hour

It's the motion of the ocean, not the size of the boat
He'll stick it right in till the buddy jokes
He does pretty good with what the good Lord gave him
She'll call her friends just ranting and raving

That two inches is hell
At ninety miles an hour
When he's bricked up like a stone
Hell, he can go for hours
He ain't hung like a horse
But he sure do got the power
'Cause two inches is hell at ninety miles an hour
Woo

He ain't a grower, ain't a shower
He's somewhere in between
When I'm talking about him
I'm really talking about me

'Cause two inches is hell
At ninety miles an hour
When I'm bricked up like a stone
Hell, I can go for hours
I ain't hung like a horse
But I sure do got the power
'Cause two inches is hell at ninety miles an hour
Mm, yeah, ninety miles an hour