G
Thirteenth birthday
D
People come from far away
G
Aunts and uncles show up
D
I brush my fro up
G
Feeling skittish
D
People speaking Yiddish
G
Buy a freaky suit and tie
D
Tailor's hanging on my thigh
G
Practice for the whole year
D
Paralyzed with fear
G
Hebrew flash cards on my walls
D
Voice is changing, dropped my balls
G
Dad's mad at the cost
D
Too bad Mom's the boss
G                     D
Grandmas are full of joy
G
For the Bar Mitzvah boy
D
(Bar Mitzvah boy)
G
Bar Mitzvah boy
D
(Bar Mitzvah boy)
G
Bar Mitzvah boy
D
(Bar Mitzvah boy)
G
Bar Mitzvah boy
D
(Bar Mitzvah boy)
G
Okay, up on the podium
D
I'm staring out at everyone
G
Can't remember how it goes
D
Whistle from my rabbi's nose
G
Oh, man, this is it
D
Make up some crazy shit
G
Baruch atah, a cha-cha-cha
D
Everybody says, "Good job"
G
Now I'm done, sweet relief
D
Lipstick on Mama's teeth
G
Catholic friends all ask me this
D
"What the fuck is a knish?"
G
Kids are all coming in
D
Checks and bonds and fountain pens
G
Make a bank deposit
D
Make out in the closet
G
He's the Bar Mitzvah boy
D
(Bar Mitzvah boy)
G
Bar Mitzvah boy
D
(Bar Mitzvah boy)
G
Bar Mitzvah boy
D
Bar Mitzvah boy
G
Bar Mitzvah boy
D
(Bar Mitzvah boy)
G
The rabbi does the Electric Slide
D
Grandma's ass is six feet wide
G
Party music never stops
D
All my friends drinking schnapps
G
Boys are short, girls are tall
D
Pass me the alcohol
G
Chug as much as I can
D
Vomit on the klezmer band
G
Mom and Dad yell at me
D
This strains my family
G
But I'm a man, so I don't care
D
Got my first mustache hair
G
I'm the Bar Mitzvah boy

[Chorus]
D
(Bar Mitzvah boy)
G
Bar Mitzvah boy
D
Bar Mitzvah boy)
G
Bar Mitzvah boy
D
Bar Mitzvah boy)
G
Bar Mitzvah boy
D
Bar Mitzvah boy)
C
And it's the best day of my life
D
Until three years later
C
When my parents stop
                   G
Making me go to temple.