C
Baby close your eyes

and hear the words I say
     Am
Oh I realize

That you're in a lot of pain
       Bb
and I apologize

I never wanted it this way,
F              G
Please...don't cry

                        C
Baby I sold your dog on eBay
                         Am
We both knew that we had bills to pay
                        Bb          F
It was either him or my PlayStation 2
      Bb                F
which doesn't even eat food
         Bb         F            G
and will never ever pee on the duvet

        C
One day I came home
         
and that dog had escaped
      Am
he forsook his bone

and instead he ate
     Bb
everything I own

from the couch to the drapes
  F                 G
I called you on the phone

                             C
And said "I'm selling him on eBay
                            Am
We both know that we've got bills to pay
                       Bb          F
He peed on season 2 of Deep Space 9
       Bb            F
That's crossing the line
    Bb           F         G
I'm listing the auction today"

C F G

  C                          G
I put him in a box with some Styrofoam peanuts
  F                   
a bag of kibble and a couple of milk bones
    C                   G
the guy online paid for overnight shipping
       F                       G    C
so the very next day he was in Buffalo

C      G     F

    C      G     F
Oh, please don't cry,
    C      G     F
Oh, please don't cry,
    C         G     F
Baby, please don't cry,
    C            F
Goddammit, stop crying.

         C
He is an ugly dog

like a ball of walking fuzz
             Am
and he poops constantly

more than any other dog does
             Bb
but we won't have to worry

about it anymore because
       F         G
please listen to me

                   C
Yeah I sold him on eBay
                         Am
we both knew that we had bills to pay
                      Bb      F
I got a hundred fifty dollars for
               Bb                F
that mutt that peed all over my floor
      Bb               F       G
and I know they'll be hell to pay

            C
Yeah we had bills to pay
                     Am    C7
so I sold her dog on eBay
                            Bb          F
I told her "you have got to understand it
Bb              F
yeah, he could sit
       Bb         C        F
but he absolutely couldn't stay.
Bb              F
yeah, he could sit
       Bb          C        F
but he absolutely couldn't stay."