D
It's your birthday today,

what does that mean? I guess I'll try to explain,
                               G
that twenty-one years ago on this day,
            A                                         D     
it was the first time your parents saw your beautiful face,

and nine months before that magical day,

your dad probably took your mom out on a date,
              G
and they were having a good time,
                               D
they were dancing and drinking wine,


(optional chorus used on an episode of The League)
D         G      A
happy birthday,
A          D     G
happy birthday,
           G    A D
happy birthday,


D
and when they got home they were horny as hell,

and your dad threw your mom down on the bed,
       G
and he tore her panties off,
                  D
and his penis was hard as a rock,

and then your mom really wanted to give your dad head,

but your dad also wanted to give your mom head,
        G
so they formed a sixty-nine,
                     D
and your mom came at least three times,


D
and then your dad was so excited to get inside your mom,

that he forgot to put a condom on,
            G
and when he realized his mistake,
A                                D
he had ejaculated and it was too late,


D             G       A
and then your mom got pregnant,
         D           G
and your dad started crying,
               D             A
he wanted your mom to get an abortion,
         D            G
but your mom wanted a child,
A
and nine months later your were born,
    G                                   A                               D                 
 and five months later your parents got a divorce