F           C               Bb    C
You got one friend who's a flight attendant
            Dm    C             Bb    C
You got one friend who likes speed
            F     C                    Bb                   C

You got one friend who always wants to smoke inside of your house
            Dm        C                      Bb              F
You got one friend who secretly likes to get peed on sexually

            F           C       Bb        C
You got one friend who is oh so natural
            Dm          C               Bb    C
And got one friend we all call the retard
            F     C         Bb         C
You got one friend fighting cancer
            F           C              Bb                    F
You got one friend who I bet right now is barking out in the yard


[Chorus]
            C     F             C       F
But I'm the worst friend in the world
        Bb                  Bb

I'm the worst friend in the world
C             F
When you are down
        Bb         F    C
I'm nowhere to be found
        F      C            Bbm         F
I'm the worst friend in the world


[Verse]
            F     C         Bb     C
You got one friend who's in Iraq
            Dm    C                        Bb        C
You got one friend who dresses like little bo peep
            F      C         Bb      C
You got one friend who is in prison
            Dm    C                          Bb         F

You got one friend who's really really in to feet sexually
            F     C                           Bb        C
You got one friend who could be a competitive eater
            Dm     C                  Bb                C
You got one friend who's one of those bad movie buffs
            F      C            Bb              C
You got one friend who touched you inappropriately
        Dm    C         Bb           F
And one friend who you are pining to touch


[Chorus]
            C      F            C      F
But I'm the worst friend in the world
        Bb                  Bb
I'm the worst friend in the world
C            F
When you are down
        Bb         F            C

I'm nowhere to be found
F               C            Bbm        F

I'm the worst friend in the world


[Verse]
            F     C                  Bb         C
You got one friend who's emic Arthur fellow
            Dm    C             Bb      C
You got one friend who's a widower
            F     C                           Bb                C
You got one friend who claims to have taken a dump in the White House
            Dm    C                       Bb      F
You got one friend who just gave birth to twins

            F     C                Bb                   C

You got one friend who goes to the gym at least twice a day
        F      C                        Bb      C
And one friend who recovered from severe burns
            F           C                  Bb                   C

You got one friend who rubbed his penis on tv's actual Wheel of Fortune
        F               C               Bb                      F
And one friend who y'all ain't, y'all ain't even on speaking terms