The Assumption

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There was an old farmer who lived 
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on a rock
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He sat in the meadow just shaking 
his
Fist at some boys who were down by 
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the crick

Their feet in the water, their hands
 on their
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Marbles and play things at a half 
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passed four

There came a young lady who looked 
like a
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Pretty, young preacher
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She sat on the grass, she pulled up 
her dress

And she showed them her
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Ruffles, and laces and white fluffy 
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duck

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She said she was learning a new way 
to
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Bring up her children, so they 
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would not spit

While the boys in the barnyard were 
shoveling
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Refuse, and litter from yesterday's 
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hunt

While the girl in the meadow was 
rubbing her
C                              G
Eyes at the fellow, down by the dock

He looked like a man with a sizable
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Home in the country, with a big 
           G
fence out front

If he asked her politely, she'd show
 him her
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Little pet dog, who was subject to 
G
fits

And maybe she'd let him grab hold of
 her
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Small, tender hands with a 
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movement so quick

And then she'd bend over and suck on
 his
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Candy, so tasty made of butterscotch

And then he'd spread whip cream all 
over her
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Cookies that she had left out on 
  G
her shelf

If you think this is dirty
               C
You can go f*ck yourself!