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I starred in every high school play
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Blew every drama teacher away
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Graduated first in my class at Julliard
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Took every acting workshop I could
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And I dreamed of Hollywood
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While I read my Uta Hagen, and studied the Bard
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Hit the boards and paid my dues
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And got phenomenal rave reviews
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I knew the world was gonna love me, without a doubt
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I was sure that Tarantino would be calling me on my phone
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Annie Liebowitz would shoot me for Rolling Stone
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But the years have come and gone and I'm sorry to say
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That's not the way that it's all worked out
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I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
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Skipper Dan is the name
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And I'm doing 34 shows every day
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And every time it's the same
Cm Gm
Look at those hippos, they're wiggling their ears
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Just like they've done for the last 50 years
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Now I'm laughing at my own jokes, but I'm crying inside
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'Cause I'm working on the Jungle Cruise ride
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Oh the critics they used to say, I was the new Olivier
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Thought I'd be the toast of Sundance, or maybe Cannes
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Ah, but don't bother trying to IMDB me
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The only place you might possibly see me
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Is riding my little boat around Adventureland
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It ain't exactly what I planned but
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I'm a tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
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Skipper Dan is the name
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And I'm doing 34 shows every day
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And every time it's the same
Cm Gm
I would've killed if I'd been in Speed-the-Plow
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But what's the difference that's all behind me now
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'Cause I'm paying the rent and I'm swallowing my pride
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And I'm working on the Jungle Cruise ride
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I should be there on Broadway,
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Knocking 'em dead in 12 Angry Men
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But instead I'm here telling these lame jokes
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Again, and again, and again, and again,
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And again, and again, and again
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( Eb Ab Eb Bb )
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( Eb Ab Eb Bb )
Cm Gm
I should've listened when my Grandfather said
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Why don't you major in business instead?
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Now my hopes have all vanished and my dreams have all died
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And I'll probably work forever as a
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Tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride
Ab Eb Bb
Skipper Dan is the name
Cm Gm Ab Eb
And I'm doing 34 shows every day
Ab Eb Bb
And every time it's the same
Cm Gm
Look at those hippos, they're wiggling their ears
Ab Bb
Somebody shoot me 'cause I'm bored to tears
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Always said I'd be famous, I guess that I lied
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'Cause I'm working on the Jungle Cruise ride
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I'm still working on the Jungle Cruise ride