Bm              F#m                   E
Girl, I'm gonna take you on a date tonight
        B                       Bm
So put on your sexy dress and meet me
        F#m                E
In my chambers by the firelight
              B                          Bm
This night is gonna be the best of your life

   F#m                E
Oh yeah, the mood is right
                    B                        Bm
You look more beautiful than poetry can describe
        F#m                        E
By the way, do you mind if Ninja Brian
                           B
Joins us he's promised not to kill anyon...oh never mind

[CHORUS 1]
E/G#              A
 It's a party of three
       C#m                    B
It's just you and me and a psychotic ninja
             E/G#  A
Every girl's dream, don't make sudden movements!
C#m   B
(Good evening, would you like an appetiz- eugh...)(Oh, Brian!)

E/G#                A
 Do you see what I mean?
 C#m                           B                   
Nothing's more romantic than a murder
               E/G# A
In the second degree, you'll be convinced
           C#m                           B
Though I'm sensing you're not totally on board with this

[VERSE 2]
Bm F#m E B
(Was it the murder thing? Yeah, i thought it might be.)

Bm                              F#m
Now it's after dinner and we're out at the club
    E                               B
I'm grinding up against you and I'm starting to chub 
Bm            F#m                   E
Oh you know girl, we're makin' it work
                    B
While Brian goes completely fucking apeshit berserk

Bm               F#m
 There were 300 people at this club
      E                   B
Brian killed 297, so that leaves us with a 

[CHORUS 2]
E/G#        A
 Party of three
         C#m                          B                          E/G#
If human life were a keyboard he'd be gluing down Control-Alt-Delete
A                           C#m
 Don't make direct eye contact!
                                    B
(Yo I'm the DJ! Who wants to da-? AGH!!) (OK Brian, we get it.)

E/G#                    A
 Girl you're looking at me
  C#m                                 B                        E/G#
Like your feeling sick, I'll take you home and give you vitamin P
A                         C#m
 That stands for penis, nothing will come between us
B
(Brian! Lay down a tasty bridge)

[BDA KC WN]
Bm
Damn girl, we had such a great night
It's a shame more bystanders couldn't have survived
We're going back to my place where we're gonna make love
At the moment of completion I'll release a flock of doves

Let me lay the foundation of the state of our relations
There's gonna be temptation then sensations of vibration
Followed by the cremation of your sexual frustration
Ending in the culmination of elation consummation 

There's just one thing I think I forgot to mention
Ninja Brian's gonna be there giving us his full attention
Cause nothing could be hotter than our sensual embrace
With a ninja staring at us three inches from your face

WOOOO!!! 

[CHORUS 3]
E/G#               A
 It's a party of three
C#m                          B
 Welcome to my kingdom of Slamalot
                E/G#
You are the new queen

A
 Please take your throne
  C#m                             B
Together we'll rule this majestic bedroom alone
(Oh, hey Brian!)

E/G#                 A
 I think we all can agree
              C#m
It's time for me to plow your fields and
        B                     E/G#
Sow the seeds of a new family tree

A                 C#m
 We're young and free
            B
Come on, baby
                E/G# A C#m B
It's just you and me

E
(...and Ninja Brian.)